I've Got My Eye on You
by mag721
Summary: "What is this?" Puck asked, staring at the potato Rachel placed in his hand. "Our child for the week," she answered matter-of-factly. "Oh, okay," he answered nonchalantly. "Wait. What!" Puckleberry one-shot! randomly silly but cute! please R


**AN: Yeah, this is a random one-shot. I'm not sure where it came from, but I wanted to roll with it b/c in my mind, it was really cute. lol (hopefully y'all will agree!) Please read and review b/c it'll make my day! Oh, I own nothing...not even a potato...**_**  


* * *

I've Got My Eye on You**_

"Duuuudddeee," Troy Lightman called out as he slapped a cocky Noah Puckerman on the back. "That three-pointer at the buzzer was sah-weeeetttt!"

"Thanks, man," Puck tipped his chin up as he passed by.

"Great game last night, Puck," Jessica, the newest Cheerio, said sultrily as she leaned on her locker.

Puck winked at her easily, causing the girl to give him the "call me" sign. Puck chuckled to himself. Jessica was banging hot, but he didn't do freshman. He'd learned his lesson the hard way after Maria Coulter's father found out she'd lost her virginity to the resident Lima bad boy and had threatened to cut off Puck's junk if he so much as looked Maria's way ever again. Puck was a stud; there were more fish in the sea than some ninth-grader daddy's girls.

"Hey, Puck," Matt said as he bumped fists with Puck.

"Matt, Mike," Puck nodded to his two best friends. "Some game last night, huh?"

"Yeah, we saw you leave afterward with Chrissy Anders," Mike joked, waggling his eyebrows. "How was _that_?"

Puck smirked at the quiet Asian. "Well, let's just say the Puckerone scored in more ways than one last night," he crooned, mimicking a _swish_ basketball shot.

Matt and Mike snickered at their friend when a blur of brown hair came stalking up to them.

"Excuse me for the interruption, gentlemen, but I need to converse with Noah straight away, please," Rachel Berry said formally.

"Hey, Rach!" Mike said cheerfully. "How's it goin'?"

Rachel turned and smiled brightly at the lanky teen. "Hello, Michael, Matthew," she said, flashing a smile toward Matthew as well.

"Berry, what's this about?" Puck said tightly.

"Noah, I attempted to bring this to your attention yesterday before school dismissed and you had to prepare yourself mentally and physically for the school's big game, which I heard you so magnanimously procured a win for, but I was unable to-"

"Berry," Puck interrupted. "It's only second period. I need smaller words. Actually fewer words would be even better."

Rachel sighed exasperatedly, but it was clear from the blush blooming on her cheeks that she was slightly embarrassed.

"I apologize," she said quietly. "I meant to speak with you yesterday, but I couldn't find you before the game."

She paused expectantly for Puck's approval to continue. Puck knew that look. She was being cheeky and teasing him. He raised a single eyebrow in challenge, but she only smiled up at him through her lashes, challenging him right back. Matt and Mike exchanged a knowing look as Rachel continued.

"Anyway, we have science class together for the last period of the day, and even though you never attend, I took the liberty of using that knowledge in order to assign myself as your partner for the next experiment," she explained.

"Aww, Berry, how sweet," Puck cajoled. "I didn't know you cared. But I thought you had another partner you just _loved_ to work with. Remember the Bunsen burner disaster?"

"Noah, I simply could not be partnered with Jacob Ben Israel for another experiment, much less for one that lasts a whole week!" Rachel insisted, with a stamp of her foot for good measure.

"A whole week? Who said I wanted to be partnered with you for a whole week?" Puck asked incredulously.

He saw a flash of hurt quickly pass over Rachel's face, and he mentally slapped himself. Rachel wasn't so bad. She was actually cool to him, ever since he and Quinn gave up Beth for adoption to Shelby. Rachel had found out the news and came over that night with vegan brownies, which actually weren't half bad. After chowing down most of the plate's worth, Puck had asked her to stay and watch a movie. She did and then stayed for another two hours after that, simply listening to him talk about his short experience as a dad.

He, in turn, had listened to her lament that her life would be nothing now that Glee was over. She had claimed that none of the jocks or Cheerios would even talk to her now that the club was disbanded. Puck assured her they would still talk and hang out. 'We Jews gotta stick together,' he'd said. When he said that, she had looked at him with such hope and happiness that it was all he could do not to sweep her into his arms and simply hold her. And then when Mr. Schue told everyone that Glee club had another year, she beamed at him, and he wanted to grab her and swing her around in happiness. But, he couldn't do that; she was with Finn. And he couldn't fall for another one of Finn's girls.

Until, that is, Finn screwed it up by letting it slip that he slept with Santana. When that went down, it was Puck standing on her doorstep with orange soy sherbet and _John Tucker Must Die_. The more time he spent with Rachel, the more he appreciated her and liked her. But, being the stupid high school boy he was, every time Puck found himself getting closer to Rachel, he'd freak out and put something (or someone) between them. Rachel never said anything about him going back to his "sex shark" ways; they were only friends, after all. He knew she didn't like or approve, but since she had no say over what he did, she always kept her opinions to herself.

But still, they weren't really friends in the outside world. That's why Puck had the moment of incoherency to say that stupid comment about not wanting to be her partner. But before he could apologize, she placed her hands on her hips and steeled a gaze in his direction.

"I also figured you didn't want to be partnered with Suzy Pepper," she said haughtily. "I _thought_ I was doing you a favor, but since you obviously find being my partner less than appetizing, I'll just talk to Mrs. Henderson to find us another set of partners."

"No!" Puck assured her loudly, as he involuntarily shuddered at the mention of Suzy Pepper. He leaned in closer to her to whisper, "You know I didn't mean that earlier."

Rachel looked up at him carefully and saw on his face a look of sincere apology. She nodded slowly. "I know," she whispered back. She quickly glanced at Matt and Mike who were still close to them, but talking separately. Mike averted his eyes, giving away the fact that they were trying hard to listen while pretending not to.

"So, what's this project you roped me into, Berry?" Puck teased good-naturedly, kicking at her shiny Mary Jane slip-on shoes.

"A simple parenting exercise, Noah," Rachel replied.

As she bent down to rummage in her bag, Puck leaned back to catch a glimpse of her hot pink satin hipsters with tiny white hearts all over them. Yes, he got that much detail from a two-second flash. He'd trained himself to memorize under extreme pressure. He would've seen more had she not realized she was probably flashing him and straightened immediately, handing him a potato.

"What is this?" Puck asked.

"Our child for the week," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Oh okay," he answered nonchalantly. "Wait. What?" Puck cried, trying to shake the confusion from his brain.

"Mrs. Henderson is assigning everyone an egg to watch over for a week; it is to hone our maturity and skills as future parents. However, ever since the egg incident with Jesse," she paused, scrunching her face from the memory, "I can't even look at an egg, much less care for one for a week," Rachel rambled on. "I proposed to Mrs. Henderson that she assign me another 'baby,' so that is how we came to be the proud parents of this lovely potato."

She smiled widely as she gently placed the potato in Puck's hand. Matt and Mike tried to stifle their chuckles but to no avail. Rachel shot them glares, which shut them up effectively. Still, they came back over to join the Jewish duo.

Matt slung his arm over Rachel's shoulders and squeezed gently. "Cute baby," he commented.

"Yeah, I think he's got Puck's eyes," Mike laughed. "Get it? Eyes?" he sputtered.

Puck shook his head, punching Mike in the shoulder as Rachel giggled softly.

"What's his name?" Matt quipped.

Rachel looked quizzically at Puck and asked, "What do you think, Noah?"

"Horatio," Puck said definitively. The other three looked at him like he'd grown three heads. "What? I like _CSI: Miami_!" he defended himself.

"Horatio Berry Puckerman," Rachel tested aloud. "I like it," she smiled.

"Cool," Puck grinned back sheepishly.

"We'll share joint custody of him for the entire week. We can speak more after school today about the assignment. For now, why don't you take care of Little Horatio?" Rachel said, sweetly patting the potato that rested in Puck's palm. Then, turning on her heel, she rushed down the hallway, pulling her pink trolley behind her.

The three jocks stared after her silently for a moment, before Puck could speak again, "Seriously. What just happened?"

Matt clapped him on the back sympathetically as he and Mike headed for their classrooms.

"Looks like you're gonna be a dad after all, Puck!" Mike called out with a salute.

Puck flipped them the bird as he stuffed Horatio in his pocket and headed to the nurse's station for a well-deserved nap. He wasn't about to admit to anyone that the prospect of being a dad even to a silly potato made his heart beat in a funny rhythm.

* * *

"Noah! Would you like to stay for dinner this evening after we discuss Horatio duty?" Rachel said, bouncing up to his car after school. They had spoken briefly at lunch that he would drive her home so they could talk about the project.

"Sure, B, that sounds great," he said, amused at her excitement.

"My daddy is out of town for a conference, but Dad is making his infamous taco salad tonight," she announced.

"Does it have meat?" Puck asked. He didn't care that Rachel was a vegan, but he needed meat to live.

"Yes, Dad makes an assortment of ground beef, chicken, and shrimp; I have tofu and beans with mine," Rachel explained. "No worries; your carnivorous needs will be fed tonight."

Puck bit his tongue from any dirty innuendos he could construe out of that comment, but the smirk that grew on his face clued Rachel into his line of thinking.

"Noah!" she admonished through her tell-tale blush. "That is completely inappropriate."

"I didn't say a word," Puck threw up his hands in defense.

"You didn't have to," Rachel huffed. "Hands on the wheel, Noah."

"Yes, _Mom_," he teased.

Rachel stuck out her tongue but grinned at him as she crossed her arms indignantly.

As soon as they got into Rachel's house, Rachel took Horatio out of her purse. They had traded duties at lunch since Puck had gym in the afternoon and didn't really have anywhere to put him. She placed him carefully in a shallow bowl that she'd lined with a dishrag.

"Berry, it's not an egg. It won't break," Puck pointed out.

"This is our child, Noah. He needs to be safe and comfortable," Rachel insisted, smiling lovingly down at the potato.

Puck resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because really? Even though it was kind of silly the way she was acting about this potato, it was also really freaking adorable too.

"Well, what do we have here?" a loud voice boomed. Puck knew it belonged to Richard, the taller dad.

"Hi, Dad!" Rachel greeted the tall black man cheerfully. "You remember Noah. We're partners for a science project."

"Hello, sir," Puck nodded politely. Surprisingly, both of Rachel's dads liked him. He wasn't exactly sure what he'd done to win them over, but for some reason he was glad that he did.

"Hello, Noah," Richard smiled. "Will you be staying for dinner?"

"Yes sir, if that's okay," Puck shifted nervously.

"Absolutely! The more the merrier!" Richard laughed. "Now you kids run upstairs and get working on that project!" he said, shooing the teens along. "I'll call when dinner is ready."

"Thanks, Dad!" Rachel called out as she grabbed Puck's hand to pull him up the stairs. He had just enough time to grab the bowl with Horatio before she practically ripped his arm out of his socket.

They worked out the schedule so that Puck would have Horatio from first period until lunchtime. Then, they would make the switch at lunch, and Rachel would care for him until school was over. Rachel also insisted that they give Horatio proper care at nighttime. She wanted to go all out, bathing the potato and even singing him to sleep, and she was adamant that Noah participated in each event. She was so excited about it that Puck didn't have the heart to tell her all the other kids had to do was make sure their egg didn't break, and the fact they had an unbreakable potato would make that easy to accomplish. She was so cute when she was planning that he just kept him mouth shut.

So, they came up with the plan that on the days that Puck didn't have basketball practice, he'd take Rachel home and they would do homework and eat dinner together. Then they would wash Horatio and put him to bed. And then Rachel would bring him to Puck first thing the next morning. On the days Puck had practice, they would do generally the same thing, only Rachel would come over to Puck's house and then Puck would already have Horatio in the morning. In Rachel's opinion, it was a foolproof plan. In Puck's opinion, it was overkill.

* * *

The rest of the week went by quickly and without a hitch. Puck found himself really enjoying spending time with Rachel. Every day it seemed he fought this overwhelming urge to touch her. Sometimes after he would sing "Rock-a-bye Baby (Potato)" he would notice her staring at him with an inscrutable look. It made him wonder if she was feeling the same things he was.

They had an easy partnership. Like any partnership, though, it wasn't without its tiffs. Puck forgot Horatio at home one day, and Rachel made him leave school to go back and get him.

"It's not like you attend math class anyway," she reasoned.

"True," he shrugged. "But I never once would've imagined that you would condone me skipping class. I want to remember this day forever," he joked, closing his eyes as if he was committing the moment to memory.

"Just go!" she said, shoving him toward the exit. "And you call me crazy!" she muttered. Puck just laughed and winked as he left.

Then, on the third night when they were washing Horatio, Puck scrubbed a little too hard and took off the eyes and mouth Rachel had painstakingly drawn on the day before.

"Noah! His face!" she screeched, setting Horatio on the counter.

"I'm sorry! I got a little scrub happy," Puck shrugged.

"Now I have to draw his face on again. I will not have our child being blind," Rachel exclaimed.

"I said sorry, woman! Geez," Puck grinned, snapping the towel at her.

"Just be careful next time," Rachel reminded him, grinning back at him.

"Yes ma'am," he mocked, saluting her.

"Be nice to your potato mama," she teased, reaching out to swat him again, but this time Puck caught her arms and gently hauled her body to him.

"I am being nice," he whispered, gently wiping away the soap that was on her cheek, his hand stroking the apple of her cheekbone.

Rachel's face flushed as their eyes met in an intense gaze. Suddenly, Rachel's breathing turned shallow, and her eyes flickered to his lips. Puck took one more step toward her, backing her up against the counter. He read that indefinable look in her eyes again as she continued to stare at him.

"Noah," she whispered, as he leaned his face closer to hers, Rachel accidentally bumped the counter, sending Horatio rolling to the floor.

"Horatio!" she squeaked, removing herself from Puck's tender hold to scoop up the fallen potato, leaving Puck to slam his eyes shut in frustration.

And like that, the moment was broken.

* * *

On the last day of their project, Puck was actually disappointed that he didn't have a reason to hang out with Rachel anymore. Once again they were at Rachel's house so they could fill out the diary-like survey Mrs. Henderson gave them.

"Do you have it?" Rachel asked for the fiftieth time.

"Yeah, it's right here," he said rummaging through his bag.

Just as he pulled out the paper, Rachel leaned over him and pulled out Horatio. She cleared her throat, and he slowly stood up to meet her eyes.

"Noah, please tell me our child has not been suffocating in your backpack all day," Rachel said with deathly calm.

"Um, not all day…?" Puck answered carefully, seeing the crazy look forming in Rachel's eyes.

"Noah!" Rachel shrilled. "That's awful!"

"Rachel," he placated as he pried Horatio from her hands and gently set him on the kitchen counter. "He's fine. See?"

"I know," Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry I'm taking this so seriously. You probably think I'm being silly. It's just very important to me."

"It's all good," Puck shrugged. "You're a cute mom. You've got the touch."

Rachel blushed deeply for what seemed like the millionth time they were together this week. Ever since that moment in the kitchen a few nights ago, Rachel was keenly aware of her reactions to anything Noah said or did. She found herself smiling more when she thought of him, laughing more when she was around him, and blushing more when she saw him. In short, she had really begun to like Noah.

"Thank you, Noah," she replied. "You are a wonderful dad."

He bristled slightly at her words, but Rachel stood firm. "You did the right thing by Beth, but you would have been an amazing father. You _will_ be an amazing father one day."

"Thanks, Rach," he said quietly with his head still down.

"Come on," she said, nudging him to the stairs. "Let's go watch a movie. Then we can finish the survey for Mrs. Henderson."

They decided on watching _Criminal Minds_ episodes on DVD instead of a movie. They were lying side by side on her bed, propped up against the headboard. Their arms were only slightly brushing, even though Puck longed to simply throw his arm over her shoulder and have her lean into his chest. They were only halfway through the first episode when Rachel paused the TV and craned her ear toward the door.

"Do you hear that?" she asked.

"Sounds like the microwave," Puck commented. "Is your Dad home?"

"No, he's working late," Rachel said suspiciously. "Oh! Maybe Daddy is home from the conference!" she said, hopping off the bed and heading for the door.

Puck figured he better head downstairs as well so he bounded down the steps only to run smack into Rachel who stood on the last stair in shocked silence. Puck looked around the corner at what she was staring at, and standing at the kitchen counter was the shorter Mr. Berry eating the last of a baked potato. Their baked potato. Horatio.

"You ATE our BABY!" she shrieked.

The sound startled Evan Berry, causing him to drop his fork. "What?" he asked frantically.

"You. Ate. Horatio!" Rachel shouted. "Daddy, how could you?"

"How could I what?" Evan asked. "Honey, what are you talking about?"

"Daddy, you ate our science project! We were supposed to keep Horatio safe! How are we going to get a passing grade now?" Rachel began wailing and pacing the floor as she continued her rant. "I'll fail science class, and then I won't have the qualifications to pass the tenth grade. How will I graduate on time? If I don't graduate on time, I can't possibly apply for Julliard! They don't just take high school rejects! My dreams for Broadway could be dashed! And what about Noah's dreams! What if his chances at scholarships are ruined because-"

Rachel's words were cut off by Puck's lips crashing into hers. He didn't know any other way to shut her up. True, he's wanted to kiss her pretty much since that first day she told him they were to be partners, but he wanted to wait and be sure she had feelings for him. But now, hearing her rant and rave about her dreams and then subsequently _his_ dreams, he knew. He just knew. So he kissed her.

Rachel's lips were soft and pliable as they mashed into Puck's. She let out this tiny sound of satisfaction as she relaxed into the kiss. She opened her mouth to let him taste her even more. Then, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She had wanted this for so long.

Puck gripped her hips tighter; he had wanted to kiss her for so long. And now that he was, the feeling was so heady that he didn't want it to end. He was so into the kiss that he almost forgot there was another person in the room.

Opening his eyes to look behind Rachel, Puck saw her father's mouth drop open in shock watching them. Poor, confused Evan just looked helplessly down at the potato then back to Puck and mouthed, "Thank you."

Puck barely had time to flash him a thumbs up before Rachel grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to her room.

* * *

_**The End. **_

**I hope you liked the randomness of I've Got My Eye on You (get it! eyes? potato? :) lol okay, yeah, well, I thought it was funny...lol) Also random: according to one baby name Web site, Horatio means "having good eyesight" so I couldn't resist...lol I love _CSI: Miami_ too though so that works out b/c Horatio Caine is my hero. Plus, he always wears those awesome sunglasses... Anyway, I'll stop rambling now! (I've been at the lake all day; I blame the delirium on heat stroke or something!)  
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**Remember, reading and reviewing = Love! Thanks! :D  
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